3.05.2009

If you’re single and you know it, clap your hands!

Single and _______ (fill in the blank).

A) Horny

B) Looking

C) Happy

D) Lonely

This is the first of a multi-part series (right now I’m not sure how many parts it will be but I am certain it will be more than 3) about Singlehood. I am not a singles expert by any means, I struggled with being single and I hope I can get some messages through by sharing what I learned from my mistakes. I will also be featuring some very FLYY and extremely happy singles who are going to help me debunk some myths and stigmas associated with being single.


In our society being single is not only frowned upon but also stigmatized. If you are single you are all of those answers above EXCEPT “C” And the funny thing is, you can be married for 20 years and be all of those things above except “C.” Sex and the City, and Girlfriends (may it Rest In Peace- we need you Tony!! Come back!) are television series that focus on women and the sexscapades, dating faux pas, and search for their happily ever after as men run in and out of them like a Waffle House in ATL at 4am Sunday morning! Yes these shows made us feel more comfortable about being single and the ups and downs of relationships and dating well because we could relate, however they were also successful in convincing us that we couldn’t have a “happily ever after” without having a man. We could be flyy as hell but one thing would be missing… a man.


Just think of the hundreds of dating sites there are online, it is a very lucrative business, because there is an urgency to find a mate, while most of us have yet to even find ourselves. If you are not happy being single, being in a relationship with yourself, then how can you give your best in a relationship when you are unable to give the best to yourself?


Being single is not a scarlet letter or a timer ticking away as your eggs dry up… Being single is an opportunity! It is an opportunity to learn more about yourself, pamper yourself, explore your spirituality and nurture your friendships. Don’t be fall victim to being press to find a man, desperate to keep a man, and reluctant to let go of a man. Instead be pressed to find yourself, desperate to stay true to yourself, and reluctant to give yourself away.


This post is only an introduction to the many more topic to come focusing on singlehood, and here’s a little something for you just to give you a taste of what is to come;


Single and stereotypes

Single and destructive relationships

Empowering singlehood

Single and religious expectations

…and much more!

4 comments:

Triniways said...

I've often wondered why people assume something is wrong with someone who remains single past an acceptable (whatever that is) time frame. They start assuming that the individual is on the d.l or is a mean hateful witch.

Good topic ... I'm looking forward to follow-up segments.

Certified Diva aka Chivonne said...

There are so many ridiculous stereotypes of single people and its demeaning and demoralizing (like most stereotypes). I am excited about writing about this topic because it really needs to be touched on! Thank You!! Invite your friends to subscribe or follow!

CookieCake said...

Great topic... I am single too and it is so much fun! Ofcourse I want to settle down eventually but why rush during the early 20s? We have all our lives for that... =) I believe that falling romatically in love with yourself is a process that we all should embrace! Not look at it like its a bad thing!

CookieCake said...

Great topic... I am single too and it is so much fun! Ofcourse I want to settle down eventually but why rush during the early 20s? We have all our lives for that... =) I believe that falling romatically in love with yourself is a process that we all should embrace! Not look at it like its a bad thing!