When in relationships we often feel obligated to share things with our guy. Doing this helps him learn about you, shows him you are sincere, and makes you feel more connected. You may have found yourself telling your partner, "I feel like we can talk about anything?" and if you feel that way that is great. This may mean you are developing a trusting and sincere relationship. But the truth is, you can not talk to him about anything. I am not referring to the skeletons in your walk-in closet, or the excessive attention your coworkers may give you at the office- those are a different set of issues. I am addressing the habit of sharing with your significant other the business of your close friends.
You may be certain beyond a reason of doubt that he will not say a peep about the secrets you're divulging, nevertheless it is not right. I understand that sometimes your girlfriend is telling you something so juicy, and your conversation is filled with "whaat!" "oh heeelll no!" "guuuurrl!" and your guy is sitting there with his interest peaked curious about what is going on. You hang up, and he asks "everything okay?" and that just opened the hatch as you begin telling how ol' girl and ol' boy did who knows what, where, and why. You may not feel an ounce of remorse for sharing this drama filled conversation with your partner, because well he's your man and who is he going to tell? He won't say anything. This is not about you not being able to keep a secret or keep your mouth close regarding people's business, but it is about you sincerely believing telling your partner is an exception to those rules and requests. He is not an exception. As drama filled and juicy the secret may be you have an obligation to your friend to keep it between you two. Even if she does not ask you to keep it on the low, as their friend keeping it under wraps should be automatic. Yeah-Yeah, he is your man and you two have been dating for 4 months and your relationship is "like that" because he tells you stuff about his boys all the time! It still is not right, because although he may not say anything he may look at your friend different as a result of the information you divulged. He may look at your friendship differently and begin to lose respect for it, why should he respect your friendship when you clearly are not respecting it by telling your friends business? You do not want for there to be friction or disrespect between your man and your girlfriends. Blabbing your mouth could put your friend in an awkward or embarrassing position, because as I stated it is not a matter of him saying anything but him acting or treating her differently and she will notice.
If you feel torn as to whether you should share with your man, the best rule of thumb is to ask your friend. Ask her, "Do you mind if I tell Derrick?" and if you can't build the courage to ask her that, then you should know for sure that you should keep your mouth shut.
Many women think this act is harmless, but there is much more harm done than one may think. Even though you are in a relationship you still have to maintain the same level of respect and value for your friendships. This is not intended to cause friction between you and your boyfriend, but you have to show him that you do value your friendships and their business is their business, I am certain he will understand. I have encountered very few men who are burning to learn the new gossip or what is going on with Jessica and her date, last week. I find more often we invite them into that business by readily volunteering to share the information, and by peaking their interest by having the conversations in their presence. It is best if you're friend calls and she has something to tell you that may be personal, that you excuse yourself from the company of your man or tell your friend you will call her back as soon as you can.
When it comes to sharing with your hunny, you should only share what is yours and nobody else's. Is that too much to ask?