3.12.2009

What Makes Him Tick… Makes You Sick!


At the beginning of relationships you are all "souped up" in the Butterfly Stage. You get butterflies when he calls you, you get butterflies when you see him you get butterflies when someone mentions his name. You are feeling him, his swag, the way he talks, the way he smells, you two are vibing about music preferences, watching Law & Order SVU together its just perfect.

But soon after some months, the little things you didn't notice before become most apparent, the way he chews, how he follows every sentence with "knaw wat I'm sayin?"… Or maybe the fact that he's been playing that same CD in the car since you two met and you are really getting sick of hearing Lil Wayne, or how he grunts and flex his biceps like a primitive beast after he orgasms. Now those butterflies have morphed into those annoying ass knags that tickle your ears and get caught in your eyelashes and shit (Ughhh I hate those!), when you reach this point in the relationship it can make or break a couple. That's because it goes both ways, there are little things you do that irritates the hell out of him as well!

Wise people always advise that you do not sweat the "small stuff," but where do you draw the line? I think it is so interesting how after the Butterfly Stage couples kind of just fall off their game, ladies and fellas both begin to get comfortable and stop doing the things that got them this far. I wonder what motivates this change? After the Butterfly Stage, is that when people begin to take their masks off and say, "Aha! Now that I got (fucked) you this is who I am! And you're going to stay because I may be committed to you just enough to keep you intrigued!" or maybe not.

Honestly, this is exactly why I am not a fan of throwing the "L" word around. It is easy to think you are falling in love while in the Butterfly Stage because everything seems so perfect and so "right." Yeah… right! Wait until those initial feelings kind of subside before declaring your love for him, because you never know; what makes him tick, surely may make you sick! And there is not anything wrong with that, that's why you get to know one another to see how you two vibe…

Pump the brakes be patient and really be committed to getting to know him for who he is, not who you want him to be, who he MAY be a year from now, or who he was back in High School, but who he is N-O-W and who knows What makes him tick, may make you TOCK!


What was one of the most annoying habits you learned about a person you dated that literally made you pause and give them the screw face like WTF?!?

I will go first so check the comments section!

5 comments:

Certified Diva aka Chivonne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Certified Diva aka Chivonne said...

Here it goes... I dated this dude I was HEAD OVER HEELS for and after a year or so we moved in together and I began to notice his breath would be HUMMING, and it took me the longest to figure out what was up with that... this dude seldomnly brushed his TEETH and thought Winterfresh the solution to everything. Which explains why his breath was always fresh when we were dating pre-moving in... Can't chew that sh*t 24/7 though, the funk comes out eventually. *SCREW FACE* For real. He didn't see nothing wrong with that shit and he was grown... I was sick. Ugh!

Anonymous said...

I dated someone everything was good until I found out that when he eats certain meats he would chew it for some seconds and spit it in his napkin! He wasn't a vegetarian it was just a habit he had! I never noticed at first but the more dinner dates we went on I would notice him try to be discreet about it. It was nasty. But I was really feelin him so i didn't say anything about it for a long time- we broke up for other reasons.

(fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik] said...

My ex wore sock garters ALL THE TIME!!

No matter what he had on, dress pants, jeans...he had a pair of sock garters!

Ohhh and speaking of jeans...he's the only man that I knew that would get his jeans dry cleaned & they would be stiff as a board!! I'm like, those are supposed to be 'relaxed', not STIFF!!

searchingwithin said...

All those butterflies come from the chemicals that our body releases when we fall in love/lust; PEA, dopamine and norepinephrine, and it usually only lasts up to two years, so you better form a bond that will go beyond for a lasting relationship beyond that.

When those chemicals begin to subside is when so many people believe they are falling out of love, but this is not true, if you have formed a bond that goes beyond those little annoyances, all of which should have been discovered long before that.

Best Wishes