3.16.2009

Lied to you

Stood you up

Bad mouthing you

Two-faced/ Cheating

Taking advantage of you

In varying degrees women have managed to forgive men who have committed these offenses, after an apology and a good cussin' out women feel confident that now he knows better. How many of us have had girlfriends/ home girls/ friends who have done the exact same thing? How many of us can say they are still friends with them?



I believe there is a double standard when it comes to how we approach forgiveness in our relationships. It is so easy for women to tear down one another and end friendships after feeling betrayed or hurt, yet we are encouraged to forgive a man when he does the same thing.


Do we value our male relationships more than our female relationships? Do females treat their male friends far better than they treat their female friends for no other apparent reason other than gender? Even if the friendship is platonic, what makes their apology much more sincere than hers? What makes his actions much less offensive then hers?


Believe me, men have no problem putting bros before hoes, they clearly value their male relationships and keep their female relationships on their appropriate rung. Why can't we females share this type of solidarity? Am I wrong to expect that of my female friends?


Thoughts? Can anyone help explain this phenomena?


4 comments:

Etienne Toussaint said...

I do not think it is fair to suggest that this is the case for all men and does not apply to some women . . .

Certified Diva aka Chivonne said...

I don't know many generalizations that are fair. There are always exceptions, and if you know of any please share.

(fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik] said...

I just lost a female friend b/c I told her that she needs to stop making excuses for a man's bullsh*t behavior. Everytime this one guy in particular did something wrong, she'd always try to rationalize it..I got tired of hearing about it & even wrote about it!

searchingwithin said...

I was reading another blog (can't remember which one now) where Loving Annie made the realization that when choosing her friends (women) she chooses them wisely and with discretion, and also looses them when they don't compliment (add value) to her life, but when it comes to men...well...that was a whole different story. It has been on my mind since then.

There is no doubt that men bring a different kind of love to our lives than our friendships...but...

Wish I knew the answer. Something to ponder.