2.02.2009

Stick a Fork in It- It's Done:

6 Ways to Ruin Your Relationship



6. Being Negative- You may not be conscious of it but your attitude really affects your relationship. No man –hmph- No Person wants to be around someone who is complaining all the time and bringing down the mood, even in jest, it’s a turn off.

5. Letting yourself "go"- Congrats you got him! You have been dating for a while and you are getting comfortable with him, comfortable to the point that you have swapped your stilettos for sneakers (or slippers) and your sew-ins for a hair rag. Realize this, marinate on this, accept this… Even when he says “Naw, babe you look fine” block that out of your mind, because the truth is you do not look “fine”... you look “aiight” and you can look better. Never get so comfortable you think your hair, outfits, and hygiene are no longer a priority.

4. Insecurity- We all hear that trust is key to a healthy relationship…blah…blah…blah. Its true it is very important however it is very hard to attain when we all know people cheat, they may not plan to but it happens. With that said you may display some insecure behaviors in efforts to protect yourself from being hurt, because nobody wants to be a fool. We all do it… But do it in silence boo. If you are feeling insecure, it is normal, if he has given you verified reason to be insecure then stay tuned that’s another posting… otherwise keep your 20 questions, sly comments, and email hacking locked away and tuck the key in your back pocket until his actions warrants such.

3. Fools Rush In- This is a common mistake we make in relationships, doing a "status check." Where are we? Where are we going? What’s the next step for us? *wink*wink*. Honey, stop it just imagine those words (as subtle as they may be) holding butcher knives chasing your man down the road away from you and your potential future. That shit is scary, men do not want to think about that stuff it takes the joy out of the present, enjoy the relationship and getting to know one another.

2. Withholding the Goods- Okay, you may be upset, you may be irritated, you may be confused or whatever… I am willing to guarantee you that he has no idea why you are upset because you expect for him to read your mind and hear your silence. So while you’re playing emotional charades you have also opted to refuse to give him any… No…No. If you have a problem, tell him about it, talk about it, heck argue about it (makeup sex is the best) but whatever you do don’t turn to silence and withhold sex because he will feel rejected and just know what you won’t give him, another woman will.

1. Being Co-Dependent- Yes you “love” him, you two have a great time together, you find yourself laughing every time you are around him it is just pure bliss. That’s great but do not forget that you can have your own life and have a strong relationship with him. Do not neglect your friends, obligations, and hobbies you had prior to meeting him, that is a recipe for disaster. Even when you do not have anything to do, find something to do so because that one night that he doesn’t call or he calls a bit later than unusual you do not want to be caught sitting next to the phone wondering yourself crazy. It is not only healthy but it is encouraged that couples individually seek outside interests, trust me it will keep that flame burning a lot longer. Get a life.







Thoughts?

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